BRAINERD

Remembering:

spray painting my initials and a giant heart on the front of the house.

my heels sinking into thick mud while I yelled at a 40 year old man with fully formed female breasts on my front lawn.

water fights, cake fights, chocolate syrup fights.

Jill licking the old gummy bear.

countless BBQs and the inception of Triple B.

Clone High, Jan helping me with math homework, and absolutely every utterly divine second of the Summer of Dreams, Bananagrams.

the smell of dead mice under the dishwasher, the black tile floor in the kitchen.

the shower crayons.

Bama Breeze.

the garbage pail with "just Ben & Jerry's."

the skull funnel getting infested with gnats, the hookah growing mold.

dosing Sheryl.

painting the kitchen brick red.

the warped, mildewy pong table that lasted 3 years (RIP).

EAST COAST, WEST COAST.

the night Shave tried to fix the toilet.

Jan's last Slow Kids show.

seeing Sandwich's apartment for the first time on the last day I lived in Boston.

Bagel Rising pote sal and the jalapeno cream cheese incident.

shaving cream and Kids in the Hall.

Sean's naked body, Sean's dick wrapped in Sheryl's scarf.

Sean leaving fried chicken bones on the floor for a week.

Roommate Swap!

Sean masturbating in Sher's bed. Twice.

the Big Fucking Purple Girl.

Tim's orphanage in Cape Cod, 5 am swim in the lake, the fire alarm.

our DD weekend mornings.

Kathy, Jean, Edson.

Vermont, drunken sledding, dancing, heckling, we work for Facebook, the wait til 88, the Meow Game, Face Fork, Shoe Game, Singleton's, guns, liquor, ammo, meat, family dinners, smoking in the steam shower, Hot Tub Itis, the 5o year old with pot brownies, Bears On Speedboat, foosball, the dog bed is a real bed, Moosetavo, chest hair, floating shots, puzzle time, the voice & den't b sech a fecking merter, Dave in makeup, Dave in pasta sauce, Sean is Mystery, stealing firewood, the Giggle Squad and rival Chuckle Troupe, sardines and hermit, fun facts about your new friend.

Jill being my son Joy's godmother.

Kolonopin.

Stadolnik's deep crust pizza dinner, Top Gear.

Nation smashing ice luges, trying to break in, hitting on girls, and his poor, poor daughter.

the creation and celebration of the Love Den.

the kegs, the trundle, the leopard pull out, the futon, the shag carpet, the zebra carpet, the mirror glued to the living room wall, the fireplace.

the bars on my window, the pipe by the bed, the red sheets on the walls.

Maluken with all the good and bad it brought us, Bill or Buou.

seeing Basement Man's tits for the first time, his Hooters magazines, his string bikini.

sunny days on the porch, reggae & Firefly Lemonades.

crawling into each other's beds at all hours.

drinking in CVS, eating in CVS, crying in CVS, stealing from CVS.

Towering Iced Teas and Tuscany Bread.

heckling and providing, Jill's cell phone takes a shower, Tight finds Apple Pie Shots sexy, TFFC parties, Joe running through a wall, the Grotto.

pregnant white trash halloweekends, Bad Motherfucker, spirit gum and pieces of a wig make a convincing beard, Blood Fight Night.

senior year BirthMonth and missing Jill.

four way spooning and the butterfly.

using Sugar's ID to buy beer, Suge's drunken political rants.

Keep It Up in the parking lot, wiffle ball, water balloon toss, Beer Olympics.

chanting all day, everyday.

making music in the empty house, smoking in the car.

party pasta, 2 AM pierogies, couscous, Sheryl's promise of a Damn Good Breakfast, cornbread, mac and cheese, fried chicken.

D's photo wall, D's puke wall.

Jill's broken bed, her broken chair.

Bosley and Dakota.

the internet issues, knocking off a door knob with a hammer, my father helping us break into a locked room, him and Mr. Gaynor stealing our couch back from the neighbors' porch.

the Sexual Deviants flyers that were never posted.

Reggie Ball/Regina Ball and the prank war.

Jill's Sock Rape, DiSalvo attempts to shit on our kitchen floor.

the pavement and sidewalk chalk.

all neighbors hating us, my altercation with the girl upstairs.

our last Marathon Monday with burritos, 40s, cupcakes, heckling vs. encouragement, Adam's wheelchair, open containers, citations, one of us needs Sandwich's phone number, the start of friendship, passing out on the futon.

parties, people coming in through the windows, my bedroom bar, Jill's password only VIP room, the Graffiti Manifesto and the police blotter, jello and gummy worms, Hot Damn, Goldschlager, power hour.

Roxanne, Chris Leone's bloody head, Colin puking on himself, everyone puking over the porch railing, The Call.

Sheryl curled in a ball at my feet, the phone number for Mercy hospital.

the white board, the portraits, the photoshoots.

the man in the tweed hat breaking in.

Paul Fucking Foti and the crazy eyes, his hot wife, his hot cars.

the TV is always on, someone is always awake.

dragging my desk next to my bed for finals week, living on Adderall and 5 hour energy, the C+ and almost not graduating.

the boat cruise, the beach party, Mohegan Sun, Dean Elmore, Mike Eating Pizza, dinner at Mamma Maria's, not crying.

OUR HOUSE, White Horse, The Kells, trivia at Sports Depot.

hospital adventures, getting lost in Kenmore, peeing in a cab.

snack wrap, snack wrap, use the paper towels in the copier at Store 24.

I could do this for days, but I'm forcing myself to stop here because I'm crying.